It's been a while ...

It's been a while since I last posted, over a month. Sorry.

But things are going well for the most part.

The weather is finally warming up and all of our flowers are blooming, trees are sprouting leaves and we're already mowing the lawn. I love it!

My sports team wrapped up its last week of practice yesterday. Our last game is tomorrow. I'm looking forward to the break. We have a last team meeting next Tuesday to discuss our summer and next fall's plans, then I'll also be helping coach one of our men's teams as they continue training for their games. But my own team is done for a while and that is a weight off of my sometimes overly-burdened shoulders. I do it to myself, I know. But looking forward to some downtime.

More exciting, my boyfriend offered to take me on vacation for my birthday last fall. So I'm cashing in that trip next week to go to Austin, Texas. He's already bought us tickets. Best of all, his sports team qualified for the national sweet 16s of our sport for his team's division down there. So I get a vacation and get to be a fan to boot! So excited! And I've only got to pay for food and fun. :)

It's been in the 90s down in Austin this past week. Yeah!

On the career front, that job I'd heard about from my old boss opened up and I applied for it. Without going into more detail, it's a much bigger job that I initially expected, but I'm definitely capable of handling it and am now waiting - trying to be patient - for the calls to interview. A good friend also applied for it, so he would be competition, but I know that my old boss never meshed personality-wise with my friend (who also worked there), so that gives me an advantage I believe. Although I'm staying away from any pettiness and we both just wished each other the best of luck and have been checking in with updates when we've heard them.

I've heard my old boss has been busy and is hiring his interns first before he starts the hiring process for the full-time position. It's hard to wait though. I have to think I'll get in for an interview. I've got the experience, more than most for education and I'm ready to hit the ground running, in addition to great references including the blessing of my current boss.

In addition, a well-to-do alumni of my boyfriend's sports team also put in a good word for me with one of his professional contacts at my old company, with directions for his contact to pass along a great recommendation to my old boss on my behalf. I'm hoping it lights a fire and keeps me in the front of the line for my old boss as he sorts through the applicants.

Keep your fingers crossed.

On the debt front, I'm still plugging away. Although I will confess to slacking off and spending too much money lately on lunches at work and some shopping, going out. Ugh. I know. I just updated a big chunk of my balances on the sidebar and as soon as some pending payments post this weekend, I'll update it again.

Okay, it's nearly 6 on a Friday and it's time to go home and relax.

Have a great weekend!

April 1st!

Happy April Fool's Day!

I only tried one joke today and it backfired. I e-mailed my boyfriend to tell him I thought I was pregnant. I then e-mailed him a second time and said "April Fools!". But rats, he got the second one first!

Oh well.

I'm waiting for my auto loan auto payment to go through tonight before I update my sidebar again. I did add the $2.55 in interest I earned to my emergency fund though. I'm just letting it sit there and be happy.

My sports team starts outdoor practices tonight. And it's cold and soggy. And I'm not doing well at my running goals, still feeling quite tired from the flu and what not. We have our first games this weekend, but I'm not too worried.

On the career front, no word yet on the new position at my old employer. But I think I did a good job at the volunteer work this weekend, so I feel positive about that and interacting with my old boss in a positive and hard-working situation.

I'm struggling at the current job because I'm daydreaming about the new job. Besides setting myself up if I'm not hired (sad!), I'm procrastinating on my current work load. It's just so boring. But I'll buckle down and get stuff taken care of here. New job or not, I'll be in a better place if I've got less hanging over my head.

30.5

I didn't even think about it on the 25th, but I'm now 30.5 years old. My half birthday was Tuesday.

Two and one-half years to pay down all my bad debt!!

I'm ready. :)

Another month gone, another step forward

It's hard to believe it's nearly April.

And supposedly it's also spring, but we've still got weather forecasts for snow. A surprise six inches fell late last week, but it's nearly gone again. We broke a record for snowfall this season in our city. Over 100 inches. We can see the lawn now, but the leftover snowbanks where we had to dig out could be there until May.

I'm eagerly awaiting the grass greening up and our spring flowers starting to poke their little heads out of the ground. I hope the crocuses I planted last fall made it.

I updated my sidebar today, except for my car (because that payment doesn't drop until the first of each month) and I'll wait until the first also for to update my networth.

I stretched my tax refund quite a bit. As I already mentioned, I paid off my Credit Card B and have moved Card D into my sights (Pow! Pow!). I jumped on my payments the other day when I got paid, using my snowball plan with minimums on all of my cards and then hitting Card D with my remaining debt payoff. I have yet to call Card B and threaten to close it (so they give me a non-business version and a really good rate for later transfer-game options), so I checked it just to verify it's paid off in my head. And what did I find? They knocked me for $8.61 as a finance charge, calculated off my past balance from last month. I was pissed, but hey, $8.61 I can handle. I'm calling them this weekend though. Grrr.

Confession time. For Easter, I had a breakdown at Target and spent some unnecessary money on unneccessary stuff. I got to the checkout, realized my idiocy and that my balance on my debit card wouldn't cover the total. So, I had to use my "emergency" card out of my wallet. And I immediately had buyer's remorse and beat myself up emotionally. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. Now I didn't purchase anything rediculous or anything that I can't use or won't use, but I did buy myself some treats that I don't really need. But I went home and as soon as I had a chance, I paid off that charge on my card from my last stash of my tax refund. That money should've been used to pay off in my snowball. So I tripped. I'm back up again and I'm back on track.

Overall, I did knock all of my cards down a bit!

In other good news, my boyfriend and I signed up for our CSA subscription! We each paid $157 towards an every-other week produce delivery for June through October. I'm really excited to see all the organic and farm-raised yummy goodness we'll have. Plus we each get $75 of that back from reimbursements from our health insurance companies!! And I know we'll save more than $75 in not having to purchase produce at the grocery store (less healthy and delicious) and the farmer's market (more expensive). I'm really excited about this.

Also, we picked up a few inexpensive seed starter kits. We've got baby tomatoes, hot peppers, sweet peppers, petunias and coleus plants sprouting for our little vegetable garden and flower gardens. This will save us money since we won't need to purchase potted plants.

This week I also received my new "designer envelope system" that I ordered from the Dave Ramsey store. I listen to his show often at work. It's funny, but the stories inspire me, sometimes they break my heart. Anyway, this month I was trying to work on truly implementing my budget, zeroing out and keeping my cash-spending for food, etc., down and kept track of well.

My struggles with this are that I have a hard time (read here: too busy and somewhat lazy) to get to the bank to get real cash out. I'm a paperless girl! Everything I do financially is online, outside from writing a check each month to my boyfriend for rent (and if I could do this electronically, I totally would!). So I was trying to use my debit card. I even have a sticker on it with my two-week totals for what I should be spending (I get paid bimonthly).

Worth noting - people kept commenting on my sticker. The bartender at my team's club bar/restaurant where we have our socials and meetings commented how smart I was. :) A barista at Starbucks (I have a weakness for White Chocolate Mochas ... only 1-2 times a month!) said it was the first time she'd seen that broken down into two weeks. :)

Anyway, I decided it was worth the $20 cost ($10 S&H sadly) to purchase the envelope system. I'm going to likely try to use my debit card, but keep track on the handy log sheets. If that doesn't work, I'll make the switch to just cash. I do like the "system" though. It's actually a nice red wallet. There's room for my checkbook and register, card slots for my debit card, etc., a zippered coin pocket and the envelopes with logs on each to write down your balances. I had a nice red wallet and a little coin purse before, so I've combined and pared down everything into my new wallet. I like it so far. I'll admit that I hide the imprinted side where it says "Financial Peace University" though. I don't want to explain this to my boyfriend ... yet, anyway.

Our team season is starting, so I'm getting busy busy. And I really need to get my butt moving and running. I am so out of shape and I'm still fighting the remnants of my flu.

All in all, I'm pretty good though.

How Having the Flu Saved Me Money

Last Wednesday, I got to work and felt fine. Then within a few hours, knew I was coming down with something because I got very tired, achey and developed a sore throat. By Wednesday night, I was nearly out for the count.

I got up Thursday morning so I wouldn't miss this important four-hour work meeting, then went home for the rest of the day and from then until Tuesday, I was basically in a flu-induced stupor quasi-coma. Five total days of out and out and influenza. ugh.

I'm not a napper, but I was putting in a full nine hours of sleep per night (my usual's 7ish) and two naps during the daytimes.

My sports team traveled to Chicago for a tournament, so I was too sick to play and didn't even bother to try to be there on the sidelines, since I could barely get out of my pyjamas.

Now that I'm feeling a bit better, just congested and fighting a cough, I realized how much money the flu saved me. I didn't have to spend any money on gas, tournament costs, socializing with my team or the hotel in Chicago, and since I also was too sick to leave my house and my very awesome boyfriend stayed home to take care of me, we just stayed in and watched movies all weekend, so no additionally weekend expenditures.

Thankfully, my team had enough players to handle the tournament without me, and although I missed some fun, I can't even imagine the nightmare it would've been trying to battle through it with the flu. Not happening.

And now I have some extra money to put towards the next card in my debt snowball sights. Pow! Cough! Cough!

This Week

A kind of slow week this week and so much snow!

We're less than two inches from our snowiest season ever on record for my city. And that's a lot of snow here in my area of the country. But hey, it's kind of like a personal best for Old Man Winter, you know. And all that moisture is good for the earth and our plants when spring finally rolls around.

And even though I don't like Winter (outside of the holidays), I don't mind it as much when it's all white and pretty, versus gray and depressing.

So the snow is cool for me.

What else?

I transferred an additional $75 to my ING Emergency Fund and it was taken out of my normal account's E-Fund today. Again, I figure it's a touch bit harder to mess with (but not completely out of reach), I'm better off. So, I'm up to $600 over there.

I finally sat down and filled out my budget book last Saturday night. I'm going to update it for this week, then I'll attempt to actually "budget" myself for my next two paychecks. Good stuff.

My brother and I also told my mom about our ideas for our personal finance and our Dad. She's in agreeance and we're moving forward with this. I also gave her my Dave Ramsey book. I do like that book, even though I'm not completely drinking the koolaid with him. Well, I am for Steps 1-3. But when ever I reach step 4, I'm pretty sure I'll be so happy and excited, I'll be fine with figuring out the next best steps.

I do thoroughly enjoy his radio show though. I listen to it every day, in addition to reading all of my favorite blogs on here.

On the workout front, we're not doing our second round of our workouts and we're all increasing the weights we're using and dropping the time it takes. So, stronger and faster. Awesome.

This weekend, a garden show in Madison to think about spring. But not buy anything!

Have a good weekend!

Itchin' to Do Something ...

The downside to having your paychecks every two weeks and wanting to get rollin' on your personal finance plan is that it's a lot of hurry up and wait sometimes.

Some good things for this week ... I think I'll be getting an extra paycheck working into my finances. Which will help my Emergency Fund a lot.

I'm planning on protecting my Emergency Fund from myself by putting a big chunk of into a new ING account, so I can earn some interest on it too. I can start a new one for $250 and use somebody's referral that I've seen out there in PF land.

I've not got a new habit of listening to Dave Ramsey's day-old online show while I work. I like to hear the stories - good and bad - and it kind of keeps me motivated to keep working even when my usual tendencies of procrastination and surfing try to kick in.

Tonight, I'll go work for my brother and we'll get started on our plan.

Good stuff ...

Brother

I'm going to make a commitment to go work for my brother at least one night a week - Wednesdays. Hopefully twice a week, maybe on Sundays or Mondays?

But last night, I went over there and while he didn't have any work for me, we did start talking about money, our finances, how we're trying to fix our personal finances and then our family situation.

After some real heartfelt conversation for a few hours, we decided that we can work together and use each other as sounding boards for improving our financial health (which will improve our mental, emotional and physical health too!).

We're also going to sit down with a plan and talk with my mom about our lives and then about how she is doing. We want her to know that she doesn't have to be there for us, but that we can be there for her too.

After this, we plan to bring our younger sister into the planning. And then we're going to tackle our dad.

My father has been an alcoholic as far back as I can remember. Until just a few years ago, the four of us had moved away and left him because he would not stop drinking and all of the negative behavior that went with his drinking.

Three years ago, he finally decided to become sober. He moved here and we took him back into the family and he's been sober ever since then. He's found a full-time job and is - in some aspects - a much healthier person.

But my brother and I both agreed last night that while some aspects are okay, our father hasn't changed his mentality and respect level for the people in his lives. It's often like dealing with a beligerent 16-year-old asshole instead of the 60-year-old television Dad we wish we had (Bill Cosby would be my choice!).

He lives with my mom (who divorced him before he got sober) and pays her rent. But he's taken over her house with his hobbies and has created a pretty negative and depressing environment for our mom. We think it's reaching a peak for her mental health in dealing with this everyday. She basically hides up in her room - of her own house - with our family's dogs, rather than dealing with him every day.

So, that is our next step in the planning. My brother and I are going to sit down with our dad and explain that if he wants to stay part of this family, he's got to not only be sober, but he's got to treat people better and be an adult.

The good thing we kept saying to each other, my brother and I, is that overall - big picture - we're doing pretty well. We have good lives, even with all of our debt. And we have our family. And we have lots of blessings. And that this stuff we're dealing with now is going to be much easier than a lot of the crap we've dealt with before (brother also staying sober, his girlfriend getting sober, our parents divorcing, our family falling apart, bad relationships, etc.).

So, in that way, I'm feeling pretty positive about all of this.

I think also that once we get farther along in our sharing process, I will share this blog with my brother and possibly my mom. They know I have debt, but sharing the totals with them would be coming completely clean and help me accomplish part of my goal for 2008 of being honest with myself and others.

Day Off

I had a three-day weekend thanks to MLK day yesterday. It was very nice and relaxing, plus I accomplished a few things.

- I took my cat to the vet for the first time in a few years. He's in good health and has his two vaccines which are good for three years.

- I cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed and straighted up the house. Staying on top of the cat hair so the boyfriend's allergies don't kick in.

- I made stuffed shells with yummy (and lower-fat) cheesy and fresh spinach filling (not frozen) with sauce. Enough for us to eat all week. Plus I used up some old bananas and made banana bread, which turned out awesome.

- I worked out at home for the first in a I can't even remember. Boyfriend's basement is half-finished and provides a great workout space. So Mr. Cat and went downstairs to work out and modified some of my gym class workout to fit the basement. Which actually ended up being pretty tough. I did a similar warmup, even running some short down-and-backs (yeah for a long empty basement), jumproped (although I have to be careful to keep it low and not hit the ceiling) and then did four exercises counting down from 10 sets to 1 set of each in a series. Mr. Cat did chase me and swat me a few times, so we took a slight break to go get him a toy to chase around instead.

- I didn't get to my money day, but I'll be working on my finances later today.

- I also shoveled the whole driveway (my second time in a week!) and our sidewalks. We got a lot of snow yesterday, so I helped boyfriend a bit with having less overall snow this morning. I let him shovel our next door lady's house though (we help her out), because I did that the first time earlier this week.

- I keep reading about this tax rebate thing that Bush might give everyone. Mine would fund my emergency fund! I will not spend it, unless it doesn't come through for a few months in which case, I would pay off some credit card bills b/c my emergency fund will be already funded.

- Oh and I'd like to note that I went grocery shopping yesterday for the second time this weekend (which I know is bad and has become my little vice), but I stopped to see what Whole Foods was like because I had never been there. And even though it was gorgeous and healthy and full of samples and so much I would love to buy at it's rediculously overpriced prices, I walked out with absolutely nothing and went to my favorite and least expensive grocery store. A battle at a time, you know?

Late at work

Sitting here late at my office on Friday night because I need to wait 15 minutes before braving the cold for the next bus home.

Am going to a party of an alum from my sport tonight. And also going to see bull riding! My mom won two tickets to a local event on the radio, so free bull riding for me and my boyfriend. Good stuff.

Am very sore from workout last night. Really tough. Walking like a crippled old lady, but not as bad as I thought. Hopefully tomorrow is better and not worse.

Looking forward to this weekend to just sit home and get the new digs organized. I'm still living out of a laundry basket since I haven't made the boyfriend commit to a set-up for our now communcal living arrangements.

Also, I have to trim my cat's claws. They're getting long again and he's misbehaving for attention and going after boyfriend's nice furniture. Will have to set some money aside and look into declawing possibly if this keeps up, but he's really being a bad little guy. Last night I had to lock him in our basement (with all of his necessities) because he was waking us up by chewing on electrical cords and using the nearly new couch as his new personal scratching post. Can't take the chance that his bad behavior makes boyfriend want him out, so looking into options.

So happy it's Friday. Have a good weekend.

Total Money Makeover

Still reading Total Money Makeover on my daily bus rides. So far, I like it a lot and will likely follow it to get out of debt.

I'm working on developing my "gazelle intensity".

A lot of this applies to my health goals as well. About 90 minutes of sprinting last night, so I'm worn out and now finally a tad sore from Tuesday's fitness testing. Tonight is the first hard workout at the gym. And I need to start drinking more water every day.

Do gazelle's get sore?

Starting ... Again

I deleted my old version of this blog. I didn't like it. I hadn't written on it since August. But I wanted to. And I wanted a cleaner, fresher start. So here we go.

I'm in a much better place than I was two years ago. 18 months ago. One year ago. Six months ago. Even one month ago. Moving Forward. Just keep swimming ...

Today I faced facts. I have $79,070.74 of debt. $42,688.07 of that is on credit cards or what my FICO report refers to as revolving debt. Yes, I know how it happened. But no, I have no excuses or reasoning. It is what it is.

$4404.04 of that is also my car which I only have 18 of 84 payments remaining (no need to point out 84 payments wasn't a smart loan). The remaining $31,978.63 of my debt is my consolidated student loans. Both of these amounts are considered installment debts.

In rank of "Worst" to "If you have to have debt, it's okay to have this":

Worst = Credit Card Debt of 42K
Not As Bad = Car Loan Debt of 4K
Better than Bad = Student Loan Debt of 32K

Using the DOLP idea - Dead on Last Payment - based on my current amounts, rates, etc., I have 18 payments left for my car. I have roughly 50 payments left for all of my credit cards. I have 141 payments left for my student loans.

I am 30 years old. My car will be paid off when I am 31 and a half. I have set a goal that I will my try my hardest to pay off all of my credit card debt by my 33rd birthday in September of 2010. This is two years and nine months away. Which is less than my DOLP number of 50 (just over 4 years). I feel this is a goal I can reach for. After I pay off my credit card debt and car loan debt, I will redirect more money to my student loan debt so I have this paid off before I turn 40. Actually, let's say before I turn 37.

I also paid $7 today to get my credit score while I got one of my three free credit reports (whoever's idea that was for free reports - THANK YOU!). Surprisingly, I ranked a "Fair" with a low 700. This was a pretty big surprise. I was fairly sure I was failing.

I saw that FICO will be changing their scoring system this spring. I can only assume my number will decrease.

I also noticed that one of my credit cards does not show up on the report. I don't know why. It's a long story, but that card gave me a "Business" version, even though I don't own a business. I think that might be why it doesn't show up. That is the card I had the worst history with. I have recently transferred the majority of that card's balance to others with zero percent balances and only have $425 left on it to pay off. I want to pay that off as soon as possible and then ask them to switch me back to a non-business card. I plan to leave it open, but without a balance in case down the road I need it to transfer back for a better interest rate.

I am using balance transfer deals to get ahead. I know this is risky. I didn't really have a choice. I hope to pay off enough in the next year (by 2009) to get improved rates on the cards, so I can consolidate better or possibly even take out a good personal loan from a bank and get it all off the cards.

I also have a handy little budget book I bought at one of our local bookstores. I want to start maintaining a better budget and recording my daily expenses. I started it in November, dropped it a bit and plan on starting that over too.

I am leaving this blog as anonymous as possible. For now anyway. Flip is a nickname I made up as a kid while playing with my sister. Nobody but me calls me Flip. I am also not posting an e-mail address on here. This will be a journal just for me, but I will be accountable to myself and to the anonymous world.

At this point, only my mom has a rough idea of my debt. And I don't think she knows for sure how bad it is. She struggles with her own debt (as do my sister, my brother and probably most everyone I know). One of the secondary - and most important - reasons I want to pay off my debt is so I can help my family be free of debt someday too.

I have a really wonderful boyfriend. He owns a house and I just moved in with him on New Year's Day. He only knows that I have a lot of student loans. He does too. But outside of his mortgage and a car loan, he has no bad debt and a very well-paying job. For him, "Debt" is a very evil word.

The other morning on the news, there was a story about a family that had $38,000 worth of credit card debt. My boyfriend was absolutely floored. He was already in shock that the average consumer allegedly has $10,000 worth of credit card debt. The good news was that that family paid off their massive debt in five years and I said "Wow, that is good to hear." He was still talking about that family even yesterday. I just quietly nod my head and then change the subject.

At this time, my debt is a secret that only I will know about until I have some real goals accomplished. I have lived with my shame for a long time. A while longer won't hurt me any worse.

Goods vs. Bads

I am hesitant to post on here when I don't really accomplish anything, but I guess that's the point of this blog ... accountability to myself and my goals.

Today is my last day of work before I fly out to the East Coast for a mini-vacation with my parents. My parents split my airline ticket out, which was something I asked them not to do, but they did anyway. My mom will also likely be picking up all of the hotel costs. She has already been out there for work and has her car, so we are driving back home.

My plan is to encourage my parents to enjoy our time out there together, but enjoying it in ways we don't spend a lot of money on. Like I'm going to suggest we hit up a grocery store for food/snacks for the weekend, rather than always hitting up restaurants and fast food the whole trip. Do more sightseeing that doesn't cost a lot, than stuff that does. I think it will be good. And I hope to pitch in when I can for gas and what not.

Outside of this, I haven't accomplished a lot since I last posted. I'm going to list of goods and bads ...

GOODS
- My goal to quit drinking soda is going very well! And my caffeine level of intake has also dropped off, since I'm just drinking a cup or two of hot tea, not 3-4 cans of soda in a day. This also saves me money!!

- I've been getting up early and out of bed, so I'm not rushed in the morning

- I've started organizing some of the big projects at work

- I didn't go out and buy lunch yesterday when I thought about it, instead I spread out the things I had brought with throughout the day and wasn't hungry.

- I'll get three paychecks this month. That is really good and wil help me fund my emergency fund.

- I got more organized for my sports team, in terms of checking on our player availability.

- I went over my cell phone bill, divied it up between our family members (5 of us share one plan, in my name) and everyone's transferring me their cut.

BADS
- I haven't taken care of calling for a lower interest on my card. I also haven't figured out what to do with the other card. I stay up awake at night worrying it to death. I'm going to spend some travel down time working this out and writing down my zero-based budget.

- Despite getting up early every other day, yesterday I hit the snooze button too long, had to rush through my morning and arrived last at my office. But today was much better.

- Finding new players for my sports team is proving difficult. The more new players I find, the less stress I'll have come fall. I need to get more of my teammates involved, but everybody has something better to do (except when it's time to complain). I'm going to send an e-mail out today asking people to hang fliers while I'm on vacation with my parents.

- I had a bad weekend of spending money. I went out with my boyfriend for a few beers, than we had a baby shower an hour away, so I had to buy a gift for our friends, pay for part of the gas, and bought my boyfriend dinner since he had bought me dinner on Friday night. I also bought two expensive drinks at the shower (at a fancy brewery restaurant on a river). That said, my boyfriend chipped in some for the gift and I opted to drink water when I could. But I need to be more aware of buying the least expensive options when I'm out with friends or drinking water, non-alcoholic beverages. It's just hard when you want to have fun and everyone else is too. I wonder what all of their debt is like though?

So I have had some bad days, but I'm still chugging along. Learning lessons every moment. I'll update my sidebar next week after I pay some bills. I think I need to simplify it too ... maybe just a graph or something.

Trying to figure out my debt snowball ...

Prior to starting this blog, I'd been working for several months ... almost a year actually ... to find ways to pare down my budget and expenses, while chiseling away at my debt.

It came very sloooooowwwwwllllllyyyyyy ...

Obviously things like cutting out cable TV were easy. I only missed Project Runway for about a week (I still miss the entire food network though). I'm actually a pretty big fan of PBS now too.

I bit the bullet and went to a credit counselor here in town. One of the actual "good guys" not some skeezoid jerk who would charge me 99% interest. Or those horrid commercials I always hear on the radio. They make my skin crawl. But I'm meandering here ...

I had the number for the credit counselor in my town for probably 18 months before I actually called. I think I might have even called earlier, left a message and than never called back. Until last fall. That's when I realized I was drowning. So I actually called, made an appointment, waited out the few weeks I had to wait to get in, then took off from work for a "doctor's appointment" (the money doctor) to go.

It was awful. Or more honestly, I felt awful for going there and taking up somebody's valuable time. Yes, I need help with my debt. But I sure as hell am not helpless or a single mom trying to figure out her welfare, supporting her kids and her bills. I'm a young late 20-something professional with two college degrees who tried to fill the holes in her life and her confusion over life's path with crap like vacations, parties, clothes and shoes (actually later, it was just to cover my rent and groceries ... shame spiral here I come). But I went to my appointments there twice. Feeling like a piece of crap, irresponsible bitch the whole time.

A very nice woman, a "mom" type, was my counselor. She helped me sort out some basic information, gave me kleenex and a hug when I couldn't help balling my eyes out (ride that shame spiral, wooooo!) and instructed me to get all of my debt down on paper and start logging all of my spending to start my budget.

The second appointment was much of the same, I had my spending log (which I had not filled out until like the day before, but was 99% accurate b/c I rarely use cash thankfully ... we can tackle my procrastination later) and she discussed all of my options for my credit cards and discussed the work I had done asking my credit cards at that time for better rates. Only one had given me a better rate, dropping from something poisonous like 30% to 15%.

As it turned out, through my discussions with her, is that the credit counselor would just ask my cards for a certain locked in rate (which actually in my case weren't much better than what I already had), then I would pay them my payment all at once, then they take out a small fee for handling it, and I'm just responsible for paying the counselor for X amount of years until it's all paid off.

But the thing is, they weren't going to be able to help me much better than I was already helping myself. Plus they couldn't help me with my car loan or my student loans. She was telling me things I already knew too ... Cut your spending, make positive life changes to improve your money coming in versus going out, clean up your messes, balance your checkbook, call your credit cards and ask for better rates, etc., etc., etc. Basically, the credit counselor said you keep coming here and we'll watch over you while you learn how to help yourself.

But that's all I wanted. Just to help myself. Not to have someone help me help myself.

[I should note that I think this service was really great for someone who needs help with their credit. And I'm not saying I didn't need help, but just for me, it wasn't a good fit.]

I cancelled my next appointment. I had applied for some job I was sure I had a shot at some computer company in town that would overpay me to be a mindless droid and had already realized I needed to get rid of my single apartment. That new job would mean I would make a crapload of more money.

This was right before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was really nice. I ate a lot. I spent the whole day with my family. And then I got home, checked my mail and received a big fat rejection letter. Dear Flip, thanks for applying, but ...

I think my mom thought I might hurt myself that night or worse. I'm by no means a suicidal or mentally unstable person. But that was the tipping point to rock bottom. Right there. I was so far in debt I didn't know which way was up. I couldn't afford my apartment. I couldn't even get a job that less intelligent people I know with zero personality were hired for. What the hell was I going to do?

Have you ever woken up from a dream and been so disoriented you didn't know where you were and it scared the everliving hell out of you? It felt like that. It felt like when I was learning to scuba dive and I was underwater in the ocean by myself and I wasn't paying attention, then turned around, lost my sense of direction and panicked because I couldn't swim right and I couldn't find the other divers. I was alone. In the middle of the ocean underwater. I did not know which way was up.

So that pretty much sucked. Plus my mom was in full-blown protective mom stage. She was the only person I felt I could talk to about it, and trust me, I probably wouldn't have if given the option. I'm stubbornly independent to a fault.

But it got better. I didn't die. The world definitely didn't end. I realized I would've hated that job and only wanted it for the better salary. My current job was better for me and I realized that rather than sneaking around for a better-paying job, why couldn't I just admit to my boss I needed a better salary, one that was competitive for my work/education level anyway. And I started to figure out how to sublet my apartment. Sometime in here is also when I discovered the world of personal finance blogs ...

Which brings me back to figuring out my debt snowball. I now have a better salary (yeah!!), my budget is pretty picked-clean, but I admit that I don't have a written budget yet and I don't know exactly what my debt snowball would be. I also need to figure out what's happening with the last of my four credit cards. I've spent the past few months getting back on track, but now I need to fully commit myself to kicking debt's ass and taking names. I can do it. I'm tough. Debt does not want to meet me in a dark alley.

I've been paying all of my stuff on time, but have been paying my credit card minimums plus a little extra. So I'm not hitting one card with a big snowball, I've been just throwing little wussie snowballs to each one. So now I need to figure out how to put all my firepower into a bigger, better snowball.

Here is my to-do list ...

1. Actually build myself a written budget. This should be very simple. I think I'm just letting my fear of failure let me procrastinate.

2. Start my 403b, and make sure it's budgeted in. Ignorance is not bliss.

3. Figure out the last of my four credit cards. I would like to find a good 0% balance transfer for this one, get that squared away and part of my plan. Again ... fear of failure creates procrastination.

4. Attack the card with the least amount with a kamikazi debt snowball. Because clearly attacking the card with the highest interest rate would take forever because it's also my biggest amount, I'm going the least amount route. I'll also work on requesting a better rate on that high card.

5. Build additional income through my sports blog, selling unneeded possessions, picking up odd jobs, etc.

So I got paid this week and my payments for my car, CC2 and CC4, plus my car insurance and money for rent to my sister and part of her utility bill are now either paid/awaiting their automatic transfers. I'm current for right now and will work on my to-do list over the next two weeks before my next paycheck comes in.

August is also looking excellent because I'll get three paychecks and I think I get the yearly annual raise due to my union membership.

Mental Health Day

Yesterday, I woke up and decided to use a sick day from work to get some stuff done. As it turns out, my boss also was out sick, so that worked out pretty well.

I wasn't actually sick, but I needed a mental health day. Sometimes you need those days.

I did spend some money, but it was on things I needed and I think I shopped for all the best bargains I could.

I hit up the school supplies for a 40-cent notebook to better keep track of my financial info, a pencil case for my backpack so I stop losing all pens/pencils that cost 90 cents, detergent for laundry, a loaf of bread, among other things on my to-do list. I also stopped at our local home-improvement store to buy two six-foot shelves and the brackets, screws, etc., to add the two shelves to my wall in my bedroom. I don't have much space to work with, so I'm going vertical. I also needed a bottle of motor oil for my car and I bought my boyfriend a $7 sprinkler for our vegetable garden. It hasn't rained here in a few weeks and stuff is getting dry. This way, he can let the garden get good and soaked at night and our hard work in our veggies will pay off in all kinds of good eats.

I feel bad about the money I spent ... but other than a coffee for myself and my brother (who I hadn't seen in a few weeks), all items I will use right now or in the long-term.

I visited with my brother for a while, then dropped off the sprinkler at my boyfriend's house and picked some cilantro for my house, then stopped by my parent's house to check on their cat and three dogs, including nice long walks for the dogs (so excited!). Then I went home, ate some lunch and tackled my shelves by hand.

My sister came home and was at first a tad peeved that the shelves were a sign of me moving in permanently - I'm more of a "transient" roommate in status and our co-habitation is more of a stopover until I either feel like I should get my own place or my boyfriend and I decide to live together. But I explained that the shelves were easy to remove whenever I left or she could keep them for herself. She was also impressed that I installed them by hand. I'm awesome. :) One bracket didn't fit right, so I tried to force it in with a hammer, thereby denting it a little, still not fitting. So I have to buy one more at the store that fits, but thankfully they were only like $2.

Now I have a lot of stuff off my floor and up out of the way, thereby creating more space and making it easier to keep clean.

I could use another day off today, but alas, work is more important. I'm going to buckle down now and stay off the grid for hopefully the rest of the day.

A Good Weekend

This weekend I stayed home, buckled down and accomplished quite a lot. I'm feeling pretty good about myself this morning, actually.

I spent some time hanging out with my sister, something I don't do enough of even though we live together. We walked up to our city's Farmer's Market Saturday morning and I even walked around an art fair. And I only spent $4 on a coffee with her.

By noon, I was home and dived into fixing up my bedroom. Which was in desperate need of organization and cleaning!!

Backing up just a bit, my sister and I used to live together in a rented house near our parents after we both finished grad school. This place was nice, but expensive for me and I had yet to face facts about my poor financial decisions. After that house, we split up and got our own places to rent. Even a bigger mistake as I started to hit rock bottom financially due to the higher rent! Thankfully, my boyfriend ended up living with me for three of those six months as he looked to buy his own house (he's a money smarty) so that helped a bit. And I finally started realizing I needed to dig out, cut back on everything (no cable!) and thankfully subleased my apartment right away in January (just five months into my lease). I put almost all of my stuff into my family's storage unit and then my sister let me move into her extra bedroom.

Her apartment is really small, but two bedrooms. I have my bed, a full closet, a dresser and a ton of boxes of stuff I thought I wanted to keep handy. And that's about it. Since I moved in, I hadn't really bothered to take the time to organize much other than booost up my bed (about 2.5 feet off the ground) to store all my boxes underneath. All in all, I used it to just sleep and store stuff. And it was on the brink of being declared a disaster area. Oh and I also keep my cat's litter box and food/water in there, so it's not in my sister's way and her little dog doesn't eat my cat's food. Naturally, my cat and I are very crowded, plus we don't like being messy. So time to organize!!

So Saturday, I moved out everything but the bed and dresser (minus just closing the closet door). I swept, vacuumed and mopped the hardwood floors, cleaned the window, swept out any little cobwebs and worked my butt off to make it shine. Then I moved my bed out of the corner and into a better location that allows me to walk around it better and see the window better. My mattress, boxspring and metal frame are pretty heavy and also measure out to an extra-long full size (courtesy of a 6-4 ex-boyfriend who swapped up to a queen). I then put my bed up on those floor cones to boost it, plus I boost it again with milkcrates and flat pieces of wood my father and sawed to fit the crates. This allows me to fit nearly all of my storage boxes underneath it with clearance.

I moved it all around by myself ... thank god, I'm not a weakling. :)

I set up my dresser on the opposite corner and a tall shelf/nightstand near my bed for reading and the things I use often, like make-up, books, important mail. I don't have a desk anymore, but I have a laptop, so my bed and nightstand are now pulling double-duty as my office zone.

After putting everything away and keeping things which still need sorting through out in the open in my view, I cleaned up the floors again, organized my laundry loads to take to our laundromat (I miss our own washer/dryer!!) and still had enough energy to scrub our bathroom floor on my hands/knees, vacuum up our little hallway, our living room and part of our kitchen, then wash all of our dishes in the kitchen and make us dinner. WHEW!!

After nine hours of cleaning, then dinner, I was both filthy and exhausted. My boyfriend came home from the tournament and I stayed at his house.

Sunday, we relaxed with my sister in the morning, then visited my father and fixed the vegetable garden in my boyfriend's backyard that we dug up and planted. We had to build our "snap pea prison" even taller and then stake our green peppers. After that, a trip to the grocery store (my favorite less expensive one!) and then I finally made it to the laundromat where I spent nearly 2.5 hours washing clothes, sheets and blankets.

I got home, happy in my near exhaustion again (isn't clean laundry wonderful?) and then somehow still had energy to organize my dresser for a lot of my clothes, organize our hall closet to fit all of my sister and my towels, sheets, extra blankets and bathroom stuff, then even cleaned out two boxes of bathroom stuff from when I moved, plus my backpack for work before finally going to sleep.

It was so nice to wake up this morning to a clean bedroom, knowing that I had my work clothes where I needed them and my lunch all set.

Most importantly, it was nice knowing that instead of putting this stuff off like I would normally do for the weekend and having a crappy Monday, I was ready to roll this morning.

I get paid this week, one of my salary adjustments is fully kicked in, and I'm ready to jump into sorting/organizing the rest of my paperwork and financials this week too.