Trying to figure out my debt snowball ...

Prior to starting this blog, I'd been working for several months ... almost a year actually ... to find ways to pare down my budget and expenses, while chiseling away at my debt.

It came very sloooooowwwwwllllllyyyyyy ...

Obviously things like cutting out cable TV were easy. I only missed Project Runway for about a week (I still miss the entire food network though). I'm actually a pretty big fan of PBS now too.

I bit the bullet and went to a credit counselor here in town. One of the actual "good guys" not some skeezoid jerk who would charge me 99% interest. Or those horrid commercials I always hear on the radio. They make my skin crawl. But I'm meandering here ...

I had the number for the credit counselor in my town for probably 18 months before I actually called. I think I might have even called earlier, left a message and than never called back. Until last fall. That's when I realized I was drowning. So I actually called, made an appointment, waited out the few weeks I had to wait to get in, then took off from work for a "doctor's appointment" (the money doctor) to go.

It was awful. Or more honestly, I felt awful for going there and taking up somebody's valuable time. Yes, I need help with my debt. But I sure as hell am not helpless or a single mom trying to figure out her welfare, supporting her kids and her bills. I'm a young late 20-something professional with two college degrees who tried to fill the holes in her life and her confusion over life's path with crap like vacations, parties, clothes and shoes (actually later, it was just to cover my rent and groceries ... shame spiral here I come). But I went to my appointments there twice. Feeling like a piece of crap, irresponsible bitch the whole time.

A very nice woman, a "mom" type, was my counselor. She helped me sort out some basic information, gave me kleenex and a hug when I couldn't help balling my eyes out (ride that shame spiral, wooooo!) and instructed me to get all of my debt down on paper and start logging all of my spending to start my budget.

The second appointment was much of the same, I had my spending log (which I had not filled out until like the day before, but was 99% accurate b/c I rarely use cash thankfully ... we can tackle my procrastination later) and she discussed all of my options for my credit cards and discussed the work I had done asking my credit cards at that time for better rates. Only one had given me a better rate, dropping from something poisonous like 30% to 15%.

As it turned out, through my discussions with her, is that the credit counselor would just ask my cards for a certain locked in rate (which actually in my case weren't much better than what I already had), then I would pay them my payment all at once, then they take out a small fee for handling it, and I'm just responsible for paying the counselor for X amount of years until it's all paid off.

But the thing is, they weren't going to be able to help me much better than I was already helping myself. Plus they couldn't help me with my car loan or my student loans. She was telling me things I already knew too ... Cut your spending, make positive life changes to improve your money coming in versus going out, clean up your messes, balance your checkbook, call your credit cards and ask for better rates, etc., etc., etc. Basically, the credit counselor said you keep coming here and we'll watch over you while you learn how to help yourself.

But that's all I wanted. Just to help myself. Not to have someone help me help myself.

[I should note that I think this service was really great for someone who needs help with their credit. And I'm not saying I didn't need help, but just for me, it wasn't a good fit.]

I cancelled my next appointment. I had applied for some job I was sure I had a shot at some computer company in town that would overpay me to be a mindless droid and had already realized I needed to get rid of my single apartment. That new job would mean I would make a crapload of more money.

This was right before Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was really nice. I ate a lot. I spent the whole day with my family. And then I got home, checked my mail and received a big fat rejection letter. Dear Flip, thanks for applying, but ...

I think my mom thought I might hurt myself that night or worse. I'm by no means a suicidal or mentally unstable person. But that was the tipping point to rock bottom. Right there. I was so far in debt I didn't know which way was up. I couldn't afford my apartment. I couldn't even get a job that less intelligent people I know with zero personality were hired for. What the hell was I going to do?

Have you ever woken up from a dream and been so disoriented you didn't know where you were and it scared the everliving hell out of you? It felt like that. It felt like when I was learning to scuba dive and I was underwater in the ocean by myself and I wasn't paying attention, then turned around, lost my sense of direction and panicked because I couldn't swim right and I couldn't find the other divers. I was alone. In the middle of the ocean underwater. I did not know which way was up.

So that pretty much sucked. Plus my mom was in full-blown protective mom stage. She was the only person I felt I could talk to about it, and trust me, I probably wouldn't have if given the option. I'm stubbornly independent to a fault.

But it got better. I didn't die. The world definitely didn't end. I realized I would've hated that job and only wanted it for the better salary. My current job was better for me and I realized that rather than sneaking around for a better-paying job, why couldn't I just admit to my boss I needed a better salary, one that was competitive for my work/education level anyway. And I started to figure out how to sublet my apartment. Sometime in here is also when I discovered the world of personal finance blogs ...

Which brings me back to figuring out my debt snowball. I now have a better salary (yeah!!), my budget is pretty picked-clean, but I admit that I don't have a written budget yet and I don't know exactly what my debt snowball would be. I also need to figure out what's happening with the last of my four credit cards. I've spent the past few months getting back on track, but now I need to fully commit myself to kicking debt's ass and taking names. I can do it. I'm tough. Debt does not want to meet me in a dark alley.

I've been paying all of my stuff on time, but have been paying my credit card minimums plus a little extra. So I'm not hitting one card with a big snowball, I've been just throwing little wussie snowballs to each one. So now I need to figure out how to put all my firepower into a bigger, better snowball.

Here is my to-do list ...

1. Actually build myself a written budget. This should be very simple. I think I'm just letting my fear of failure let me procrastinate.

2. Start my 403b, and make sure it's budgeted in. Ignorance is not bliss.

3. Figure out the last of my four credit cards. I would like to find a good 0% balance transfer for this one, get that squared away and part of my plan. Again ... fear of failure creates procrastination.

4. Attack the card with the least amount with a kamikazi debt snowball. Because clearly attacking the card with the highest interest rate would take forever because it's also my biggest amount, I'm going the least amount route. I'll also work on requesting a better rate on that high card.

5. Build additional income through my sports blog, selling unneeded possessions, picking up odd jobs, etc.

So I got paid this week and my payments for my car, CC2 and CC4, plus my car insurance and money for rent to my sister and part of her utility bill are now either paid/awaiting their automatic transfers. I'm current for right now and will work on my to-do list over the next two weeks before my next paycheck comes in.

August is also looking excellent because I'll get three paychecks and I think I get the yearly annual raise due to my union membership.